It was a shock to the school community to hear about the relatively sudden, and certainly wholly unexpected, death of Ray Grinham, one of our much valued Site team. He had been in school a few times in the previous few weeks, but no-one had grasped – and he didn’t want others to know – the advance and impact of the cruel pancreatic cancer which was to take him.

Tuesday 17th December saw a large number of colleagues attend his funeral at the Croydon Crematorium, packed too with family members and a large number of friends, to commemorate the life of a man both private and hugely public spirited. At school, we knew Ray as an indefatigable go-to man for a whole panoply of school problems. As he did his rounds, from one job to the next – the inevitable consequence of site work in an ageing and very well used school – attired in that inimitable premises uniform of blue sweatshirt and navy shorts, no matter what the weather, he never gave off the impression of a man harried or pressured. He had time to chat with you, and when you did, you would be talking with an acute observer of human life – particularly that microcosm of it which is a school community – and a thoroughly humane individual. Ray did not seem to be a man disposed to anger, though that shouldn’t be mistaken for lacking passion – he had passionate beliefs, and ideas, held quietly but firmly. Along with his site colleagues he brought warmth and positivity to his work – walking embodiments of Aurelian stoicism.

We heard at the funeral a remarkable tribute to Ray as a man and most importantly a father from his two daughters, whose courage and resilience in delivering their warm, beautiful encomium was an undoubted testament to their father himself. This was clearly a man who was firmly and wonderfully focused on his family; whose wit, fun and lively sense of simply being, were clearly exemplified in that tight-knit, close and loving group. We will miss Ray immeasurably here at Sutton Grammar, but it is with his family that our thoughts and prayers will so obviously remain focused.

We would like to say a huge thank you to the parents who have already made a donation in Ray’s memory to Pancreatic Cancer UK. If you would like to make a donation, you can do so via your ParentPay account or through the JustGiving page we have set up. If you are a UK taxpayer, giving through the JustGiving page allows the charity to claim Gift Aid and therefore benefit from an additional 25% on top of your donation.